Another one...

Let's start with how my day went.... I didn't really do much because my body was aching from work and I just didn't feel right today. I mostly stayed in my room. I guess I am just most comfortable here. Not having any money or friends is really tough on me right now. It is a a harsh reality that as of right now I am not really going anywhere. But I won't give up. My heart is strong and I won't stop trying to do something I love. I will get myself out there at some point and when I do I am going to share all of me with the world.

Just a few minutes ago, I asked my stepmom if I could go out and she said no because I did nothing all day. Which is completely true, and I forgot to do the one chore I was supposed to do today (a first time forgetting it but whatever). So now she says she is "done" with me and the only time I can use the car is to go back and forth to work. Whatever.

So now I am sitting here having a good cry. To me there is nothing wrong with that. Sad crying gets everything that has been building up out, and I haven't had one of those in a while. Mostly I have been crying because someone has inspired me, those are nice but these kind of cries make me feel good. Sounds kind of sick but I like the pain. Anyway, I wrote a song from this.. doesn't make much sense but it's how I feel right now.

Can't Take It

All this pain inside
All these tears I've cried
What did I ever do to you?
I know I don't belong
And you obviously don't want me
But do you have to be so harsh?

Chorus
I need a new home
Somewhere I am happy
Were everyone really loves me
And my heart isn't in pain
I hope I find is soon
Because I just can't take it anymore

I'm scared one day I will wake up
And you will really tell me off
What did I do now?
I'm always on high alert
And hearing you yell make sme crazy
How do I make it stop?

Chorus

So I sit in my room alone
I'm way to scared to leave
What should I do now?
Sometimes my heart tells me it is all okay
But I know the truth now
This isn't the place for me

I dunno... Sometimes I just write and don't really try to make it work but it does..

Song # 4

I wrote most of these in about 1o minutes.. I love to express myself with my lyrics. I just hope that some day soon I can find someone to help me put it to music. I want to sing my own songs, for sure.

Get Lost With You

Chorus
I wanna run my fingers through your hair
And twist my fingers threw your curls
I wanna stare into your hazel eyes
And just get lost with you

Laying next to you
I forget all my troubles
All the days of sorrow are gone
And you are the only thing that will make me smile

Chorus

As we get lost in endless chatter
I can't help but start to cry
You've completely changed my views on life
And from now on I can really live fully

Chorus

You've changed me for the better
And that's just fine with me
I never thought I could feel this great
And it's all thanks to you

You're perfect.


I wonder if anyone can guess who that is about... haha

Song # 3

Now we are getting to the happier ones. All about this one amazing guy that changed my life without even knowing it. Pulled me out of the worst rut ever, and he doesn't even know my name. It doesn't matter to me though, because he inspires me, and someday I will meet him and I will make it worth my while. He won't forget me. In a good way of course.

So Tough

As I lay my head down to sleep
There is only one thing on my mind
My heart begins to race
With my head filled with thoughts I can't define

Bridge to Chorus
I stay up late at night
Thinking about the way you are
And in my dreams
You're not too far

Chorus
Your face, your voice
I just can't get enough of
Your laugh, your smile
Why do you make it so tough?

When I dream about you
I wake up in an easier place
The world just feels so different
With a big smile on your face

Bridge to Chorus

Chorus
Your hair, your energy
I just can't get enough of
Your style, your passion
Why do you make it so tough?

And now I hope that every night
I'm lucky enough to dream about you
And you're everything I thought you were
You really are a dream come true

Chorus

Song # 2

Well this is another one of those angry songs... my ex really pissed me off quite a few times. He just thought that since I wrote on my facebook that I was so in love with someone that it automatically meant him so he blocked me.. such a child.



Anyway, here it is...



Guess What

So you think you're the best
And no one else can compare
Well guess what, you're not
So you think you're so cute
And your body is rockin'
Well guess what, it's not

Chorus
You're not so special, not so perfect
I know that for sure
You're not so hot, not so fine
And guess what, I'm over you

Say now that you are starting to think
And you know that you weren't right
Well guess what, I already knew
Say now you want my back
And you can't live without me
Well guess what, you're too late

Chorus

Bridge
It took some time to figure this out
I wish I knew from the start
But sometimes things happen for a reason
And I ask myself why didn't I know this sooner?

Chorus

Little blurbs...

Sometimes when I write, I am not really inspired enough to write a bunch of words. When that happens I can write a few sentences, but they tend to be really powerful.

Here are a few of those...

1.
Life isn't always what you thought it would be
You end up dwelling on the past when your life was more free

2.
I woke up this morning with a funny feeling
What will happen to me today?
(Some don't really mean anything, but this was a time when I wasn't doing so well so I thought everything was just going to get worse)

3. (This is a work in progress)
Without you
I can't laugh or smile
Without you
All my soul is drained
Without you
I can't sing or dream
There is just no me,
Without you

Why wake up in the morning
If I know you won't be there?
Why should I get out of bed
When my day will just be bare?

That's pretty much it... I am still working on a couple but these are ones that I have yet to come back to. My song writing is very spur of the moment. They tend to just flow out of me when I am feeling really strongly about something or someone... kind of like Nick Jonas.

First bog.. my first song

I decided to write these blogs to post my songs to the world. I am hoping that someone will find me completely amazing and help me pursue my dream of being a singer. I have one inspiration for most of my songs. He is the man of my dreams, and sadly he doesn't know me at all. Thinking about it I don't really know him either, not at all really. But sometimes you can just get that vibe that says, "wow, this person is completely amazing." Then of course there are those other guys just completely suck, like my ex-boyfriend. I have written a song or two for him too. I don't know if anyone will really read this but a girl can dream.

Here we go...

Not the Perfect 10

I can't believe I feel this way
It's like relief you could say
I wasted my time and heart on you
But you were a horrible boyfriend, yes it's true

Chorus
I'm so glad you're gone
So glad I've moved on
I never have to see you again
I'm so glad you're gone
So glad I've moved on
I guess you're no the perfect ten

So you bought me some jewelry and paid to eat
And instantly my heart would admit defeat
But maybe it was just having someone there
Even though, I know, you really didn't care

Chorus

Bridge
Finding new love didn't take too long
I feel so good, I feel so strong
I look forward to what the future will bring
Now I know how it feels for my heart to really sing

Chorus

So that was my first one... I'm going to post them all seperately.